Gentlemen: Start your engines (and hang on to your balls!) The Tacoma, Washington Gonad Battle is ON! Quick update to the Testicle Wars: The American Kennel Club advises that the December 12 Tacoma City Council meeting will address the issue of mandatory spay neuter of all dogs in Tacoma, Washington. You're going to feel a little pressure Actually, you're gonna feel a LOT of pressure. Particularly in the vicinity of your Bill of Rights guaranteed protection of private property. The U.S. Constitution says the government cannot simply strip you of what you own. Like that quivering little chunk of your dog. You might feel a significant twinge around your WALLET, too, if -- for any reason whatsoever -- you don't want to have your dog(s) surgically sterilized. Bidding begins at $55 for an annual "intact animal license". And then you have to pay for a breeder's license (at a yet-to-be-determined additional cost). Yup. Even if you have no interest whatsoever in breeding your dogs. The idea is to make you pay until it hurts for the privilege of leaving your dog the way he or she was born. Cash strapped? Fixed income? Putting your kid through med school? Tough shit. The privilege of owning intact dogs apparently does not extended to people with a limited income. Ya gotta pay the piper in Tacoma Now there's a "liberal" idea: discriminate against the poor. Good going, Councilwoman Anderson! Excellent! Does being poor mean you aren't good enough to own certain [intact] dogs? Is that the idea? Cause I got a problem with that. I'm also wondering if the Gonad Nazis will be going door-to-door inspecting dogs for the presence of unlicensed balls in the nicer parts of town. Or will they mostly scrutinize dogs in the poorer neighborhoods of Councilwoman Anderson's new, improved and de-testicled Tacoma? I sure don't see them ringing doorbells and peering between legs in the high rent districts. Do you? Doling out testicles, one by one. . .

There's plenty more to dislike about the Tacoma proposal. For example:

Limit laws would be testicle-specific. Four balls per household. Two intact animals per customer only, please. If you're a little old lady for four elderly Pug dogs that happen to have their balls still attached to their bodies. . .you've got a problem. Or two out of your four dogs sure do.

By the way, will Tacoma foot the bill if your dog(s) don't make it out of surgery? Cause I really don't see that happening, either. One strike and you're out in Tacoma Dogs picked up stray will be surgically sterilized in Tacoma. Doesn't matter how they got loose. Even if you have invested in all the permits and whatnot. Your property rights will NOT apply. The dog that goes into the pound will NOT be the same dog that comes out. Now where have I heard that idea before? Was it. . .the Institute for Animal Rights Law's website? Or maybe Animal Farm Foundation? Cause their "Five Point Approach to Community Safety" is just about in lock step with Tacoma's master plan to rid the city of gonads. Is everybody on the same page? Hell, no. The most comprehensive source of funding for spay-neuter programs, Maddie's Fund, does not fund government-mandated programs. Maddie's Fund only does voluntary programs. So who's gonna pay for all that surgery? The tax-payers of the City of Tacoma? Cause someone sure is. What's the plan, Councilwoman Anderson? Inquiring minds want to know! Write the City of Tacoma a letter. The sooner the better. Folks, I believe the Tacoma City Council is waiting to hear from you on this matter. And don't forget to drop Julie "owning-an-intact-dog-is-no-longer-a-right" Anderson a note, too. I don't understand how or why Julie thinks that blowing off property rights guaranteed by the U. S. Constitution is no big deal, but she does. She needs to hear from people just like you: Julie.Anderson@cityoftacoma.org